Sexuality&Depression

Introduction

Growing up is a demanding and challenging task for every adolescent. One important aspect is forming one's sexual identity. All children explore and experiment sexually as part of normal development. This sexual behavior may be with members of the same or opposite sex. For many adolescents, thinking about and/or experimenting with people of the same sex may cause concerns and anxiety regarding their sexual orientation. For others, even thoughts or fantasies may cause anxiety. These feelings and behavior do not necessarily mean an individual is homosexual or bisexual.

What is homosexuality?

Homosexuality is the persistent sexual and emotional attraction to someone of the same sex. It is part of the range of sexual expression. Homosexuality has existed throughout history and across cultures. Many gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals first become aware of and experience their sexual thoughts and feelings during childhood and adolescence. Recent changes in society's attitude toward sexuality have helped gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens feel more comfortable with their sexual orientation. In other aspects of their development, they are similar to heterosexual youngsters. They experience the same kinds of stress, struggles, and tasks during adolescence.

Parents need to clearly understand that sexual orientation is not a mental disorder. The cause(s) of homosexuality or bisexuality are not fully understood. However, a person's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. In other words, individuals have no more choice about being homosexual or bisexual than heterosexual. All teenagers do have a choice about their expression of sexual behaviors and lifestyle, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Despite increased knowledge and information, gay, lesbian and bisexual teens still have many concerns. These include:

feeling different from peers
feeling guilty about their sexual orientation
worrying about the response from their families and loved ones
being teased and ridiculed by their peers
worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases
fearing discrimination when joining clubs, sports, seeking admission to college, and finding employment
being rejected and harassed by others

Support

It is important for parents to understand their teen's sexual orientation and to provide emotional support. Parents may have difficulty accepting their teen's sexuality for some of the same reasons that the youngster wants to keep it secret. Gay, lesbian or bisexual adolescents should be allowed to decide when and to whom to disclose their homosexuality. Telling a person’s sexuality before they are ready is called “outing” and can be traumatic.

Counseling may be helpful for teens who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation or uncertain about how to express it. They may benefit from support and the opportunity to clarify their feelings. Therapy may also help the teen adjust to personal, family, and school-related issues or conflicts that emerge. Therapy directed specifically at changing sexual orientation is not recommended and may be harmful for an unwilling teen. It may create more confusion and anxiety by reinforcing the negative thoughts and emotions with which the youngster is already struggling.

Gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens can become socially isolated, withdraw from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. Some may develop depression and think about suicide or attempt it. One of the main reasons that causes isolation is: depression.

Teenage depression isn’t just bad moods and occasional melancholy. Depression is a serious problem that impacts every aspect of a teen’s life. Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide.

Fortunately, it can be treated, and as a concerned parent, teacher, or friend, there are many things you can do to help. You can start by learning the symptoms of depression and expressing concern when you spot warning signs. Talking about the problem and offering support can go a long way toward getting your teenager back on track.

Signs and symptoms of teen depression

Teenagers face a host of pressures, from the changes of puberty to questions about who they are and where they fit in. The natural transition from child to adult can also bring parental conflict as teens start to assert their independence. With all this drama, it isn’t always easy to differentiate between depression and normal teenage moodiness. Making things even more complicated, teens with depression do not necessarily appear sad, nor do they always withdraw from others. For some depressed teens, symptoms of irritability, aggression, and rage are more prominent.


Sadness or hopelessness Irritability, anger, or hostility Tearfulness or frequent crying Withdrawal from friends and family Loss of interest in activities Changes in eating and sleeping habits	Restlessness and agitation Feelings of worthlessness and guilt Lack of enthusiasm and motivation Fatigue or lack of energy Difficulty concentrating Thoughts of death or suicide

Effects of teen depression

The negative effects of teenage depression go far beyond a melancholy mood. Many rebellious and unhealthy behaviors or attitudes in teenagers are actually indications of depression. See the table below for some of the ways in which teens “act out” or “act in” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain:

Untreated Depression Can Lead to…
Problems at school	Depression can cause low energy and concentration difficulties. At school, this may lead to poor attendance, a drop in grades, or frustration with schoolwork in a formerly good student.
Running away	Many depressed teens run away from home or talk about running away. Such attempts are usually a cry for help.
Substance abuse	Teens may use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to “self-medicate” their depression. Unfortunately, substance abuse only makes things worse.
Low self-esteem	Depression can trigger and intensify feelings of ugliness, shame, failure, and unworthiness.
Eating disorders	Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and yo-yo dieting are often signs of unrecognized depression.
Internet addiction	Teens may go online to escape from their problems. But excessive computer use only increases their isolation and makes them more depressed.
Self-injury	Cutting, burning, and other kinds of self-mutilation are almost always associated with depression. To learn more, see Helpguide’s Self-Injury.
Reckless behavior	Depressed teens may engage in dangerous or high-risk behaviors, such as reckless driving, out-of-control drinking, and unsafe sex.
Violence	Some depressed teens (usually boys who are the victims of bullying) become violent. As in the case of the Columbine school massacre, self-hatred and a wish to die can erupt into violence and homicidal rage.
Suicide	Teens who are seriously depressed often think, speak, or make "attention-getting" attempts at suicide. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors should always be taken very seriously.

Suicide warning signs in teenagers

An alarming and increasing number of teenagers attempt and succeed at suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15 to 24-year-olds. For the overwhelming majority of suicidal teens, depression or another psychological disorder plays a primary role. In depressed teens who also abuse alcohol or drugs, the risk of suicide is even greater.

Because of the very real danger of suicide, teenagers who are depressed should be watched closely for any signs of suicidal thoughts or behavior. The warning signs include:

Talking or joking about committing suicide.
Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.”
Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”).
Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide.
Engaging in reckless behavior or having a lot of accidents resulting in injury.
Giving away prized possessions.
Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for good.
Seeking out weapons, pills, or other ways to kill themselves.